Reflection Dos: Paediatric and I

To be honest, I wasn't very much looking forward to start this rotation. It's not that I don't like kids. It just breaks my heart that small innocent children with no guilt in the world should suffer such horrible diseases.

The first week was horrible. I had to force myself a couple of times to hold it together and not cry. Everything was overwhelming. Their sick, tired faces, their mothers dead worried looks and then we had to come and inflict more misery to them by bothering them with questions they already answered and consume the last bits of energy the kids have with examining them. And they almost never said no to me. They gave different excuses to why they will gladly be a part of my education. One mother allowed me to examine her infant because she was a psychology student and had to go history hunting from psych patients and she knows how tiring it is to look for a cooperate one. Another dad at the ER gladly let me examine his son who was in respiratory distress, just because his niece was named after me and he wishes that she becomes a doctor like me one day. Things like this touches your heart. Kindness still exist in this cold world.

A turning point in my relationship with paediatrics was when I was examining this four year old girl who has sickle cell anemia. She was so tiny and beautiful. Very cooperative and quite. When I was in the middle of listening to her heart sounds she started playing with my head scarf then grabbed my finger with all of her hand just like a palmer grasp reflex. It was very endearing and sweet knowing that it wasn't a reflex and she did it out of affection. Her mom then told me "she really likes you". And it was mutual. Then my perspective shifted. I shouldn't think of how much a child is unfortunate for being sick. I should only think of how much I can help them to get better. Even at this stage where all I can give is a warm smile and a gentle touch that hopefully will brighten a gray day.

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I don't really like the third reflection. I'm not sure I'll post it.

Anywho, Paediatric is OVER! FOREVER NO MORE PEDS! *DANCING*

End of peds celebratory cake at Chili's by Ghada.

After Ghada's editing

To Always Live in the Shadow

As children we all lived in the shadow of our siblings. My older brother always got first in his class and I always came second. Although I almost always had better marks, girls' schools are more competitive that way, I felt less. And had the need to always prove myself worthy. Being labelled number two was never good.

Looking back at how I felt when I was an 8 year old, I still can't possibly imagine how those two twin girls must feel. One a healthy child who could never dream of the attention her sick sister gets. And the other a diseased child who could never live or accomplish what her normal sister can.

Rahaf is a girl with congenital hydrocephalus and plasminogen deficiency, a rare disease with only few cases documented world wide. At the process of obtaining her medical history, the developmental part at precise, I had to ask the mother to compare between her two daughters. Rahaf fell short, in reaching the developmental mile stones and in her learning abilities. Her face fell too when she heard the comparison and I felt a dagger stab my heart for I have reminded her of her short comings. Then there was the social history and I had to ask how is the disease effecting the other family members? The mother confessed she doesn't pay much attention to the other twin because dealing with keeping this one as healthy as possible is alone a full time job. I couldn't judge or blame the mother but I couldn't help but also feel sorry for the other girl. A child will always starve for her/ his parents' affection, but to be denied of it and to feel guilty for wanting it because your sibling needs it more is probably far worse.

I don't know who has it worse? The ill child with a disease limiting her life, always shadowed by her twin's accomplishments? Or to be deprived of your parents full love and care and to always live in the fear of losing your precious twin? Always coming second doesn't feel that bad at all now.

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We were asked to write our "reflection" on the paediatric rotation. Actually to write three reflections. This is my first one. Feed back is much appreciated.

Paediatric OSCE

Have I told you how much I love OSCEs? No? Well, not so much. But I love how they generate the most hilarious memories ever.

Day Uno: Too Much Oxygen Good or Bad?

Before the FU FUN FUN part begins, a tip for you all: BREATH!

At lock down, I did my yoga breathing to help me relax. Not only did it do that but I became a bit giddy and euphoric. And so when I heard the musical bell that declares the end of a station for the girls who were being examined, I thought it sounded a lot like Fairouz's song Dahlak Ya Tair Al Wrwar and started singing. That opened the door for more Fairouz and a lot of drunk singing and laughing. A bunch of girls dropped everything and tuned in for the pre-exam entertainment. I was a star.

Then was the actual exam. It wasn't great but al 7mdullah it went smoothly. At one station, I think the purpose of it was to get pissed off by the patient's irrational fears and try to calmly reassure them. It wasn't really irritating or anything but the doctor somehow was VERY impressed with me. After I finished talking to the patient, she asked how would I evaluate myself and being in the KAUH environment when you are always looked at as the idiot student, I couldn't possibly say I was freaking brilliant. I criticized my shaky Arabic and failure to answer one irrelevant question. The doctor then interrupted, telling me how perfect I was and how she didn't even need to interfere and guide me then she moved on to my "great English" and asked if I studied abroad? I said no and the credit goes to my mom cuz she's an English teacher who taught me since infancy. Then she was mesmerized by mom and kept asking all random questions about her. Who could blame her? My mom is amazing. But then the bell rang and I had to beg to please let me go.

At the history station, we were to ask a pretend dad -the intern- about his kid who has sickle cell anemia. The thing about this intern is that he is... I honestly can't find a word to describe him. He kept smiling, turning and fussing and giving lame answers in a very blah tone. Well, Mr. if you can't take this seriously, I sure as hell can't and I could match your tone and double it too. And that is what I did. Plus he was wearing cherry red lip balm, as I was.

While taking a history you should analyse the patient's chief complain then proceed to other things. I, being the amazing diagnostician that I am -Yes, House got nothing on me- didn't! The father told me his son has leg pain and I automatically thought it was a vasso-occlusive crisis. Which it was but still I needed to explore the pain even more. I now realize that the intern was actually nice as he tried to help me by mentioning the leg pain twice and I was like yeah you said that, moving on. Stupid me but what is an OSCE station if you didn't forget a thing or three? :P

Day Dos: You Never Know What You Have Until You Lose it.

Day two and another history taking session. This time hematuria. Let me first just say how much I love Nephrology and point to the fact that I KNOW hematuria. I feel so ashamed. I once again figured out the diagnosis too early and all other reasons totally blanked. I knew there was so much more to explore but I just couldn't. And this new intern/father was really into playing the role of the concerned dad. And he kept putting a sweet encouraging smile but when I tried wiggling out a clue or two about what should I ask he was such an ass. Where is yesterday's intern? He would have helped. I wanted to cry LOL.

Next station was the doctor who though I was fascinating. When I started examining the patient, she kept yelling "mashallah, mashallah ma bdy a7sdik you are so good and organized" and she didn't pay attention to what I was doing and then asked me to please repeat =_=

The 2 other stations were lovely. Run by two amazing nephrologists. God I love those people.

Man this OSCE wasn't really funny ha? Well thank God it's over. Wish me luck on the written and inactive OSCE. :)

Oscars 2011

Better late than never, right? Anyway I don't have much to say. Except this year wasn't very impressive movie wise, red carpet dresses nor the Oscar ceremony itself.

The Fighter is so over rated. It's an OK movie. And if anyone should have been given an Oscar for their performance in it, it's Amy Adams, not Christian Bale because Geoffrey Rush - from The King's Speech- deserved it more and definitely not Melissa Leo.

I'm very happy for Colin Firth. Well deserved. And plus I have been in love with him since forever. Even when he was given lame stupid roles, I loved him.

Natalie Portman, although the movie wasn't that great but her acting was top notch. Absolutely beautiful and well deserved.

As for the Oscars presenters this year, James Franco and Anne Hathaway, they were eih. What's up with Anne changing her dresses? If they were beautiful I would have understood but ... James was a total cookie, no? Miss you Hugh Jackman.

Kevin Spacey singing for Fred Astaire, HAVE MERCY! Sorry couldn't find it on YouTube.

If I were Mandy, I would be very upset with myself after this performance. Her vocals were just off. Zack did a better job and he's not a singer.

On another Tangled note, don't we just love the thief? Charming chap. But I can't help thinking the princess could have done better. Of course she would love him, she never saw another human being and he is charming. And of course he would love her, she is pure hearted and I don't know a princess with magical hair. BUT Disney why are you teaching little girls to settle? I loved the movie and I wished Flynn/Eugene was real so I better just shut up.

Now the gowns, ugly was very in in this red carpet walk. But I won't bother with that.

Cate Blanchett

A Victorian chair you might say? But I say beautiful and unique and only she can make it work.

Mila Kunis. Simply beautiful.

What was your favourite moments, gowns in this year's Oscars? Do share :)