In movies I have seen actresses giving pretend birth. Screaming their lungs out, squeezing their actor hubbies hands' and delivering pink tiny bundles of new life. And the estrogen pumped lot of you might have found it beautiful & couldn't wait to share with the men they love, their own mini them. But I'm here today to burst that pretty little bubble you hold so dear. Vaginal delivery is disgusting.
A month ago I started my OBGYN rotation and yesterday I finally had the pleasure of witnessing a life being brought to this world. It wasn't this woman's first child or else they would have preformed an episiotomy. Which is basically a horror movie. They cut your VAGINA! If that's not a reason to never wanting to have babies, I don't know what is? Oh yes, the baby's head passing through your vagina after you cut it!
The woman was disoriented, in labour pain, screamed a bit– not horror movie material- and she was in desperate need of human contact. Our lousy hospital's policy bans any member of her family to come into the labour room with her. She begged my friend to hold her hand and she briefly did. My friend's face didn't change while the woman squeezed her hand & I wondered if they were just pretending in movies that women in labour squeeze so hard, it'll break ones hand? Then it was the 2nd stage of labour – the push push stage. I didn't like how the resident yelled at the woman when she screamed. She's in the worst pain ever. Be more fucking gentle with her, well ya? Besides the screaming there were all sorts of discharges and other not very pleasant bodily functions that happened while pushing. I'm sorry but I was disgusted. Blood I don't mind but that... *shudders*.
The baby wasn't in a favourable position and so was hard to deliver they had to basically pull his head with a vacuum-like machine. The baby was delivered blue and was not breathing until they suctioned the fluid out of his airways. Also the poor thing had a hematoma near his eyes for the vacuum's head wasn't positioned properly. And to top it off, a part of the placenta was missing and the doctor couldn't find it. A mid wife jammed her hand inside the woman's uterus searching for it. She screamed a scream far worse than the ones she did while in labour. Amazingly, in the middle of her agony, in her still delirious state she remembered my friend's act of kindness and thanked her for lending her her hands, even though it wasn't throughout the whole thing. Manners and humanity are wonderful wonderful things. I pray she and her newborn are well and happily united.
I don't know if I witnessed a miracle or a messy procedure that stunk? But I will leave you with this: C-sections for the win!