May 17, 2010

Dear Old Medical School

So I'm sure at some point you have heard a medical student rant about the noble awesome reasons that lead them to take this umm bitter-sweet path? At my first year I was asked about my reasons and I honestly can't remember what did I answer. All that I know that I never wanted to be superman and save the world. The typical stupid answer of helping people used to piss the fuck out of me. I still remember this one girl that said she's in for the money. I salute her and admire her for being honest. Cuz I'm sure a lot of the so-called guardian angels are in it for the same reason. Oh well I know your dying to know my true reasons or maybe it's us medical students who can't shut up and are dying to tell the world why are we saving them :P
  1. At middle school, I said I'll be a neurosurgeon and I can't back down now, can I? But scratch the neurosurgeon part. My other nick name is butter fingers. :/
  2. I took the what-is-the-best-job-for-you-exam (I just made up the name but you get the drift?). Anywho my consular looked right at me and told me to be a doctor and nothing but a doctor and to give her a ring once I am. And maybe if I want to be a magazine editor or a writer on the side I can do that too. But NEVER be a farmer or a musician. Here goes all the convincing to get a guitar down the drains. I just had an epiphany. Maybe my low environmental-work score is what is making me wishing to marry a florist or a gardener. To compensate. By the way I think Jeff Leatham is a dream guy.
  3. I wanted to see my uncle in action. Now that I have, I kinda of hate him xD
  4. My mom said it's the only job that will suit my big ego hehe.
  5. I want to be able to help in a war. WTF? I know. And No, that is not saving the world :P
Can't be more true. Though I still want my Nobel prize -inshallah.

Yes, dear old medical school has crushed all our poor poor dreams. We don't want to save the fucking world. We want to be saved from this never-ending-crap. I'm so fucking depressed. I know it's not only school but it's sure damn as hell not giving me the chance to breath and solve my issues. Oh and the fact that I can't remember what I have studied for so long fucking hours after the exam is KILLING ME! What if I'm not a good doctor? Oh no worries I have two plans:
  1. A book should be near me at all times and never answer a patient's question before reviewing the answer first.
  2. Go to France. Attend a cooking course. Open my sweet little bakery *heart*. I'm so tempted to drop out and go for it now. Nahh I'm kidding. Or am I? You know the awesome Jay Sean? I LOVE his music. Baby are you down down down. But you know what made me love him even more? He was a fucking MEDICAL STUDENT then he dropped out to be a mega super star. Smart guy eh?
You know what also sucks about being in medical school? You feel so fucking dumb! You used to be the smart ass and then puff you enter medical school. Your smart-assness grow even bigger, cuz you think your such a hot shot entering and what so ever. But then bom bom paw you realize that smarter people entered with you and even more smarter people are teaching you and will do EVERYTHING to show you what a dumb-stupid-low-life you really are. No, Smart CoOkie does not stand for real smartness. I'll explain it in another post. And actually when people call me smart, I almost always take it as an insult.
Which then brings the subject of how medical students are -for a reason that is beyond me- so smug with themselves. Seriously guys and girls you are NOT REAL DOCTORS!

Oops did I just say too much? Oh well. I'll leave you with a little something from The Placebo Chronicles.


I want to help people.
I want to make it through this hell.
I want to make it through this hell without killing someone.
I may have killed someone.
I want someone to help me.

I want to make money.
I want to spend money.
I want to save money.
Where the hell is my money?
I need to make money.

I don’t know anything.
There is too much to know.
I will never know all of this.
I don’t need to know all of this.
I only need to know a little.
I don’t care if I know anything.

I want to be needed.
I love my white jacket.
I love the power of the pager.
I hate this f*cking pager.
I don’t want to wear a stupid jacket.
I want to be left alone.

This patient has some interesting problems.
This patient has some real disease.
This patient needs to be hugged and loved.
This patient has a lot of nothing.
This patient has Sh*tty Life Syndrome.
This patient needs to leave; I need to be hugged and loved.

P.S: I honestly LOVE being in medical school, I'm so grateful and I can't imagine my life any other way.*heart*


  1. Reading this made me remember my own ongoing misery with my major as well. I'm studying Engineering, and oh GOD, it's shit, shit SHIT. I thought I was smart, first in my class .. until I went into uni and was between people who were first in their COUNTRIES! The average of the class is always 40, someone is always failing, it sucks! I feel like a failure all the damn time. What sucks is that no matter how you study *in engineering that is* you can never know how you'll do because it has nothing to do with memorizing it's just complicated puzzles that you have to solve! UGH, up until now I took almost 5 math courses 5!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why must we students suffer? :)

  2. Ahh I wish I could solve puzzles instead of memorizing and man how much I loved math. I totally understand your agony. And I believe that medicine and engineering are both of the hardest professions out there. Oh the pressure of what we are expected to do. Allah y3een. =]

  3. Duhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL "i take smart as an insult" i really dunno whether i should waste my comments on laughters or what?
    everything u said is f***ing funny... and heeeey jay sean was a medic O_O? Damn!!!! and about the flourist.. i'm totally with u... we need guys who can `literally` refresh us!!!
    and about you dropping out and taking courses in France... saba8tki o5tik fe Allah Fadiah :p. I wanted to drop it as well and do EVERYTHING ELSE in the world.. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.. other than that, u're being awesomely hilarious!!! THUMBS UP... SMARTIE :P..

    p.s. I love your new template.. it's amazing... makes me hungry all the time though :p...

  4. LOL Fadiah, I will seriously take your whole comment as an insult. Yes, I am that touchy. :P


    And yeah, the part about feeling so dumb is so true! I was the smartest girl in the world until I got into medical school and realized that I'm not really the brightest crayon - not even in my little group.
    Also I'm always afraid to screw up, to misdiagnose, to give the wrong drug, to kill someone!
    But I think the best part of it all is when you do something your patient sees as heroic and prays for you :") this makes all the crap we've been putting up with worth it.

  6. Aww thanks for loving it.
    Still didn't get to do something to actually help the patients. Hope it is all they say it is and more. :)

  7. lool

    i know the feeling all to well

    bs believe me when i tell u
    it all pays off in the end !

  8. Hahaha ee walla bs ma bga shay ull graduate and u will feel that gettin on med is just so worth, i dont know are you graduated or not yet? :p

  9. eshda3wa, inshallah it does. :)

    AP, no. I still have 2 more years. Bs hant. :)

  10. So true! But what makes this blog so special is the way it was written in. Funny, thoughtful and cheer briliance!

    : )