Jan 5, 2010


No, I don't think I am bipolar. It's just lately, I have been acting like it. WTF is wrong with me? Why am I so emotional all out of a sudden? I get worked up & angry over the simplest things. I can't contain myself and ignore bull shit like a normal person. I raise my voice & scream like all the fucking time. I need therapy. I just want to know why am I doing this? It's not like I'm still PMSing.
I'm thinking, no scratch that, I know that it's partially cuz of the people around me. Every one is acting insane lately and it's driving me insane. I just need some space, but I don't wanna lose anyone. I hope they understand. I don't think they do. =[
Still that does not give me the excuse to explode on them like I did today. I'm truly sorry and I feel bad about it.

On another subject. Today I got published in the Words to Inspire Newsletter, the smile issue. LOL the irony.

I ain't very much happy about it. They changed some cuz I used some strong words. But they should really be thankful I didn't curse LOL. And there is this one sentence that is just wrong and it doesn't make any sense and I didn't write it that way. That pissed me off! Whatever. I just hope it is not taken against me. Cuz I am not that lame.
The piece is a modified version of a previous post of mine: You Do Count!
My friends liked & joked about the part where it says: Dreams don't come true just by working hard.
I think I gave them an excuse to slack and be lazy. Like they need any :P


  1. Wow girl
    I had doubts for years that I’m bipolar.
    But now I don’t think so.. I think there has been always a reason. And it’s probably the same with you. Sweetie stress is a reason! too many responsibilities can be another! Y3ni as long as you’ve got a reason then it’s no disorder whatsoever! Don’t lose your friends send an email tell them you need a break lol

    I Just read the article you rock :*

  2. Smiiiiiile ;D

    You have done gr8 @ that article guurl mashallah.See we are lil cute creatures called girls ya3ne emotionals :p o il 3atab 3ala 8adr il ma7abah even if it was by yelling or cursing people xD

  3. oohhh sweety.. i was just thinking about the same thing on that day .. o ma sha'a allah 3leeky 3ala 6ool katabteeh en sha'a allah =]

    u'll get back to normal- u always do, n they will understand eventually, n no body is gonna loose anybody =D

    n about ur published article.. i'm curious now, what did u write in the original article that u sent? i mean..how strong the words were? :P
    coz the one i read long time ago was clean as far as i remember!

  4. darling... first of all, i understand when everyone is getting insane about what so ever and u in turn get as insane as they are... if u need a space, then RUN FOR IT.. believe me they'll understand. Nobody wants some cursy swingy moody girl !!! :p

    and u should run for that space for YOU. built up pressure is really dangerous FOR YOU not them.

    second of all, yaaaay of course u'll be published :D.. the original one is amazing but of course... they'll always have to change it, don't they :p ??

    about "Dreams don't come true just by working hard."... then please convince me ♥...

    take care...

  5. Gosh I have the same feeling too which I find it bad :( it's hard to change, a smile would be better and enough:P

  6. imp. P.S.: "en sha'a allah" in the 1st paragraph belongs to the 2nd one after "anybody". lool

  7. Faith, I don't need to send an e-mail. I told them in person while yelling at them. Thanks babe. =]

    LOL Candy, you made me smile. Thanks you.

    Judy, I feel offended. You think I'm bipolar? How rude!
    Oh and the words aren't considered strong to normal people. But you know when in KAU.

    Fadiah, dear you are a girl in Saudi. You should know. For example: you are studying real hard to graduate from medical school and then pursue your post gradguate education in a western country. But when the time comes to make the dream a reality what makes you so sure, you will be able to. After all you have to have a male companion or the approval of a male guardian. If it wasn't your destiny to do something, no matter what you do you won't achieve it. Got it?

    AP, smile for me baby. =]

  8. *sigh*... now i get it... it's the ugly truth... Allah y3een.. all we got (regarding this example specifically) is to pray ...

    luv u ♥